Flash Hiders and Battle Tycoon rarely draw notice in the history of fighting
games. The two titles were the now-defunct Right Stuff’s attempts at snatching a
piece of the genre’s sugary and super-saturated pie in the 1990s. Neither
succeeded, but I suspect they were ahead of the curve. Every modern fighting game has a console-oriented story mode with RPG-ish customization, and Right Stuff explored that territory with the original Flash Hiders in 1993. More can be read in this GameSetWatch piece I wrote years ago, even though I now see some typos and at least one factual error: Patchet is a were-polar-bear, not a werewolf.
I like Flash Hiders, and I also like its manual. Game instructions usually include guidelines for handling a cartridge or CD, and every so often the publisher might add little comics of the game’s characters failing to heed such advice. This is a lost art today, but it was common in the Japanese market of the early 1990s, when CDs were a new technology and there was always the chance that some consumers would try to play a game by breaking the disc apart and picking their noses with the shards.
I like Flash Hiders, and I also like its manual. Game instructions usually include guidelines for handling a cartridge or CD, and every so often the publisher might add little comics of the game’s characters failing to heed such advice. This is a lost art today, but it was common in the Japanese market of the early 1990s, when CDs were a new technology and there was always the chance that some consumers would try to play a game by breaking the disc apart and picking their noses with the shards.
![Hey, none of these says you can't EAT the CD. Slap that sucker down on some rye with a little chipotle mayo.](http://kidfenris.com/flashhiderscd.png)
My favorite game-safety guides are the ones from Phantasy Star III and IV, but the last page of the Flash Hiders manual is also very helpful. It offers plenty of illustrated advice for first-time CD-ROM owners.
![Tiria (left) and Bang (right) are the main characters of the Flash Hiders games and sorta a couple in that quarrelsome, non-sexual anime-for-teenagers way.](http://kidfenris.com/flashhiderscd1.png)
“Do not step on a CD, as it will transform the people nearby into snake-tongued monsters with a desire for human flesh.”
![Oh boy, an anime girl's gettin' mad! Maybe she'll hit him. That would be hilarious.](http://kidfenris.com/flashhiderscd2.png)
“Do not clean CDs with rough material such as the loincloths of your traveling companions. This will violate indecent exposure laws.”
![This is Horow, one of three Flash Hiders characters who weren't included in Battle Tycoon. Maybe someone really DID think he was offensive. Or just boring.](http://kidfenris.com/flashhiderscd3.png)
“Do not allow men in turbans to menace the CD with bladed weapons. This reinforces negative stereotypes of certain cultures, and racist caricatures are hurtful and unwelcome.”
![The were-panther Harman (left) and cyborg Otto (right) both came back for Battle Tycoon, though. Something about Otto just screams 'Appleseed background character.'](http://kidfenris.com/flashhiderscd4.png)
“Do not allow cyborgs to gaze into the reflective surface of a CD as they consider how their myoelectric modifications have eroded their humanity. They’re best off not thinking about it.”
![The kid is Erue. He wasn't invited back for Battle Tycoon either, but then he wasn't actually playable in Flash Hiders in the first place.](http://kidfenris.com/flashhiderscd5.png)
“Be sure to write your name on the CD surface so that everyone knows it’s yours. This will also ensure that your memory will survive thousands of years into the future, as the CD format is ageless and indestructible.”
![Harman is in love with the spellcaster Spenoza Thunderhead, perhaps because of his eloquent criticisms of Cartesian philosophy.](http://kidfenris.com/flashhiderscd6.png)
“Do not try to seduce the CD with coquettish blushing and murmured compliments. The CD’s affections can be won only through bawdy jokes and elaborate mating dances.”
![The helmet belongs to Rablehalt, the third Flash Hiders character who didn't come back for Battle Tycoon.](http://kidfenris.com/flashhiderscd7.png)
“Be sure to store your CD in a museum display, as this will prove to all that games are art.”
![The blue-haired woman is Sheena Vanpied. She's an elf who uses ice magic or something. I dunno. It's a fighting game.](http://kidfenris.com/flashhiderscd8.png)
“Do not simultaneously set the CD on fire and encase it in ice. Light it aflame, allow it to return to room temperature, and then freeze it with a magic spell.”
scan yr manuals for the greater good
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