Parappa is a greedy little bastard.


The Gallery of Hideous Box Art

Astyanax: In which I avoid making a pun like NASTYanax.
Clash at Demonhead: Featuring absolutely no early punk references.
Crystalis: SNK's best game and blandest cover.
El Viento: I don't know how to say "This ain't right" in Spanish, but it would apply here.
Guardian Heroes: In a word, GRAAAAHHHH.
The Guardian Legend: Somewhere, a generic RPG is missing a cover.
Light Crusader: Special guest writer ShaoMappy tackles Meatloaf and enjoys it far too much.
Rival Turf!: Street thugs don't get any tougher than this.
Sky Kid: And his sidekick, Baron von Shitty Namco Game.
Streetsmart: If this were a Neo-Geo game, the SNK cult would love it. But it's not.
Strider: Captain Zoom fights the Monkey-Men of Mars.
Strider (NES): The lesser Strider with the slightly better cover.
Tagin' Dragon: This makes the title seem even filthier.
Trouble Shooter: Ever wonder why they didn't translate Trouble Shooter 2?
Valis 3: Three covers. One is decent.
Wonder Boy in Monster Land: Well, at least he's a happy doll-faced lunatic.
Wonder Boy III: The Dragon's Trap: Sadly, this cover's actually good for an SMS game.
Wurm: The center of the earth is, in fact, full of hair.



General Features

The Bootleg Battle Mania 2 Mystery: Not a particularly interesting mystery, but a unique one.
Bounty Arms: A look at a lost PlayStation action game that mixed Bionic Commando with regular Commando.
Cyborgs Ain’t Ladies: Here I tried to spark a new internet catch phrase. It didn't take.
Final Fantasy XII Day: It actually happened. To a point.
Quill Quest: My first and only attempt at designing a video game.
Undercover Game Worship: My introduction to the Japanese art of "minor game" obsessions.
The Valkyrie in Video Games: Exploring the marvelous bastardization of a Norse pseudo-deity.



Toys and Other Junk

The Art of Xenosaga: A fine book that's worth a sensible price.
Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball 2003 Calendar: Useful? Possibly. Shameful? Definitely.
Final Fantasy Tactics Figures: Because we just don't talk about Final Fantasy enough.
Guilty Gear X Figures: No, there aren't any Bridget figures. Yet.
Guilty Gear Isuka Millia Rage Statue: Still none. Stop asking.
Xenosaga Art Print: Even if you have it, you won’t know what to do with it.



Front Page Archives

The 2005 Archive: Mostly Valkyrie Profile trivia and some art I stole from GameWatch.
The 2006 Archive: Mostly Final Fantasy XII covers, more Valkyrie Profile stuff, and that Valis porn.
The 2007 Archive: Mostly about Guilty Gear, The Red Star, and the ways in which games hate women.
The 2008 Archive: Mostly discussion of animators, backfired sexism, and how it all relates to Valkyrie Profile.


All applicable characters, names, and titles are copyrighted by their respective companies and used for review purposes.